I don’t think I have ever laughed so hard in my life . . . and you know what? It is even funnier that they think their proposal is actually serious! Who are “they” and what does their oh so serious proposal entail? Well, lets take a trip down to the great city of Delusionalburg in the proud Kingdom of Fantasyland.
Okay, I am sorry for the awful jokes to start out this blog post, but the CVC deserves to have horrible jokes flung their way after the ridiculous proposal they delivered to the Rams on February 1. Also, I apologize for not getting this out sooner, but this week as been absolutely insane with Signing Day on Wednesday and those darn classes that I suppose that I should be paying more attention in. Anyway, lets take a look at the absolutely terrible proposal by the CVC in a completely neutral (haha) light and then rip it to shreds. Sounds fun, right? Let’s get started . . .
First of all, I have been saying all along that only a brand new stadium could keep the Rams from leaving St. Louis and guess what?!? Putting windows in the
warehouse err, Edward Jones Dome doesn’t qualify as a new stadium!! Who knew!?! The CVC has put forth a proposal to the Rams that will cost about 124 million dollars to add a new Jerry Jones-esque jumbotron, windows to let some natural light in, a new plaza, and to just clean the place up a bit. It really is not a bad proposal if we were back in 1995 when the stadium was being built, but 2012? This “renovation” would not bring the Dome into the top 25% of current NFL stadiums, as a matter of fact, it would probably remain in the bottom 5. Why is this, you ask? Well, big, fancy jumbotrons and screens are pretty much standard in NFL stadiums today and when you add something that EVERYONE ELSE HAS, then you aren’t going to move up into the top 25%. You have to have something spectacularly out of the ordinary to do that. Wait a minute! Only Jerryworld in Dallas has the insanely huge HD jumbotron hanging from the rafters, shouldn’t St. Louis move up by adding one just like it? Why of course, but they WOULD NOT be adding a jumbotron like the one at Cowboys Stadium in Dallas, because the Edward Jones Dome is simply not big enough to accommodate a structure that massive. Because the new jumbotron would have to be much smaller to fit inside the Dome, the new screen in St. Louis would be on par with what they have in NFL stadiums around the country. Windows? Oh wow, natural light?!? The 84% of current NFL stadiums (26 of 31) that are open air or have retractable roofs are really shaking in their boots. Moving on. How about the new plaza and outdoor amenities that will be offered to fans? Again, just bringing the stadium up to the standard that every other stadium in the NFL already has . . . no real room for movement.
So . . . what can be done to bring the Dome into the top tier? Absolutely nothing. The structure itself cannot support a retractable roof or completely removing panels to make the stadium open air. The structure also cannot support adding new luxury boxes that are necessary to succeed in the modern day NFL. And, of course, no matter what you do, it will still have the charm of a warehouse. It is because of these reasons, I have said for years that the only way to have a “top-tier” stadium in St. Louis is to break out the wrecking ball, reduce the dome to rubble, and then build a brand new, billion dollar stadium and that is not going to happen. Shocker, I know!
Well, I suppose that the CVC offering 124 million dollars is a decent start and maybe if they up that number and——-
WHAT?!?!? They expect Stan to pay more than half of the cost of these so-called “renovations”!?!?!?!?!? Wow, and when I thought this proposal couldn’t get any more absurd, there was this pretty little stinker right there in black and white: “the $124M proposal becomes a $59.52M expense with the rest coming from the Rams.” They do realize that the lease does not state that the Rams have to pay a single dime to keep it up to NFL standards, right? So let me get this straight . . . Stan gets to choose between a billion dollar stadium in the second largest market in the country (largest NFL market if you cut NYC in half and there is only one team in LA) that he DOES NOT HAVE TO PAY A DIME FOR, or a polished turd that he has to pay 64.48 million dollars for. Good luck selling him on that one St. Louis, you’re gonna need it . . .